Sometimes it’s just the workload be it personally or professionally that doesn’t let you soak in and absorb everything that is happening around you, that leads to overthinking. Whatever be your reason we all as human are wired to worry. But more than the problem I am going to focus on the solution in this article.

Here’s what I do to unwind and calm those nerves.

1. Declutter the space around you, Dust the furniture, vacuum clean and Light a candle

If you are a Marie Kondo fan, you’d already know the benefits of a clean space but if you aren’t then let me explain. A clean and tidy space helps to organise your thoughts as well. A lot of it is to do with what you see and how that makes you feel. So a clean house, organised wardrobes and a spotless place resonate good vibes and positive energy. When you sort your physical surroundings, it helps to focus on what’s on your mind.

2. Listen to some relaxing music

Music is a great stimulant. It helps to focus on the task at hand, and as the music rolls, it helps in thinking straight, decluttering that mind and completely relaxing. There is proven research on this subject that shows a positive correlation between music and concentration – it helps in calming down and getting lost in a different stream of thoughts altogether. So days when you are down, don’t reach out for that bar of chocolate or alcohol, start with some good music to uplift that mood.

4. Take a shower

Steaming hot water helps to relax those tired and sore muscles and rejuvenates the entire body. It is also this time that allows a lot of artists to think of new ideas and also improves focus. Have you ever wondered why? Probably because a lot of your physical activities are restricted – you can’t write, read, listen, talk or do anything except for taking a shower which is a mundane activity wired in your subconscious mind. So that leaves your conscious mind to wander in those gazillion thoughts that you couldn’t focus earlier; this is precisely why meditation helps as well.

4. Dump all those wandering thoughts onto a piece of paper

I am a big fan of diarising your thoughts and writing down your those ideas, emotions, views, opinions and beliefs. It helps to slow down in your thoughts and interpret each word that you pen down.

5. Understand what is bothering you

Dig deeper in your thoughts to understand and break down each of those ideas, decisions or feelings. Try to understand what is causing that stress and what makes you feel overwhelmed. Once you recognise what the issue is, that solves half the problem there itself.

6. Do what brings joy

Today is your day. Allow yourself to do what brings joy – Binge-watch your favourite show, order food from outside, go for a run around the park, just groove to that hip-hop party song, plan your next travel, do whatever makes you feel good. These activities aren’t for the weekend or the future solely. Instead, do it when you are stressed or tired because that’s when it matters the most.

Credit – Joel Valve @Unsplash

7. Focus on one thing in that most urgent /important sort of quadrant

You’ll feel good about having thought through what matters the most to you. Even if you take one step today, you are one less step towards this most significant thing in your life. For me, it is blogging and developing on my writing skills, so when I am overwhelmed, confused and feel pressured, I write to relieve that stress. It helps me feel a sense of accomplishment.

8. Talk to someone on something unrelated

So when I am in this shell thinking (mostly overthinking) about myself and how the world revolves around me. Everyone is conspiring against me or criticising me, or the world is out to get me. But in reality, everyone is living in their shell too. So give yourself some breather and relax, not everything is always about YOU (unless you are Donal Trump or Narendra Modi). Talk to someone on something that is worrying them, and that might make you feel good and come out of this downward spiral of thoughts.

9. Vent it out

Let it out. Breathe. Relax. When you vent it out and tell someone about these gazillion thoughts, it would feel good because it is out of your system. Also sometimes at my workplace, unproductive discussions, directionless initiatives or meaningless outcomes stresses me out; I try to structure my thoughts – understand the problem, what led us to this situation, and discuss it with someone to gain perspective. If nothing at least you have let the steam off of your mind.

10. Exert physical energy

Be it Zumba or boxing or a weight lifting, whatever helps you to exert physical strength is a great stress buster. It is a known fact that it helps to relieve those happy hormones, improves concentration and makes you feel good about your physical self. These are the reasons why I love workouts – a great way to strengthen the mind, muscle and matter – all three.

Happens to me a lot and thought to share the 7 ways that I use to cope with confusion and frustration in the entire decision-making process.

I have spent a lot of time struggling to make simple decisions – ‘Which denim jacket to buy’, ‘What restaurant to go for dinner’, ‘Which hair colour would suit my hair?’ and so on. These are simple everyday decisions, but not being able to make a decision is a genuine problem that I face.

And I think there are others like me who might experience the same. I am not even talking about the right choices, but merely making a choice that you are 80% content with, is sometimes difficult. That last bit that I subtly added in there, that is where the problem lies – ‘being content with’.

If you know about the decision paradox, you’d know that no matter what you select, you’d never be content with your final selection as you’d always experience this feeling of missing of out on the ‘other alternative’ and what if it were better than the choice you made.

However, in the long run, does it even matter? Probably not, what does matter though, is the time that you wasted in making those simple decisions that you could have productively utilised writing a poem, exploring a theatre, reading an article, playing a sport, just anything that you’d want to do.

Everthing you do, has an opportunity cost of time, so choose wisely.

Given this backdrop, I thought why not, just have a simple rulebook, that can guide me to make a better choice and not be burdened by the decision paradox.

So here are my 7 simple ways that have helped me make better decisions faster.

#1. Take the first option you see that fits your criteria almost 70% – 80% and go with it. Easy.

To explain you with my story, just today evening, I decided to have some dumplings for dinner,and as strange as it may sound, I have never had them in a restaurant setting ever and luckily, I found a cosy little place selling handmade dumplings with a decent ambience and pricing – so it just fit my criteria perfectly, and the obvious decision should have been to go there right?

Wrong! Not to me, because something in me told me to explore a bit more, walk down the road a few blocks to see what other options do I have – I couldn’t find anything similar.

Note that now I have a benchmark and everything that I would find I shall start comparing it to this one. More often than not, I’d not be able to find something similar or better (experience says that). The first one is just going to be the best one – there are a lot of psychological reasons to this than factual a) I have now missed the boat – in this case I already walked two blocks and going back was not possible b) there is a confirmation bias that it is better than other options you’d encounter, and is difficult to overcome that in that heat of the moment.

Anyway, now I keep walking towards my second option which I had in mind – just that I didn’t check the directions and then ended in the wrong place – so was a bit frustrated now, and I ended up buying some average Sushi from an ordinary place.

So the lesson learnt is I could have had a good experience eating what I wanted to – dumplings, had I selected the very first option which met most of the criteria.

Also, that would have saved me time and the mental struggle.

#2. Be clear about what you want and stick to it

This one is simple, just don’t juggle too much – it drains your mental energy and leads you to confusion. Keep it clear in your head what you want at a high level – not being too fussy about the details but just knowing the broad headlines of what you want. If you find it difficult, just close your eyes and imagine yourself wearing, buying, staying, playing, just doing that and living it – you’d know what you are expecting and now look around – does the reality match your expectation?

Restricting your choices does wonder for good mental health – instead use that energy on other important things

#3. Decide on how much time you’d like to spend on that activity

Especially when it comes to restaurants and shopping, set a time-limit by which you would decide on something – be it anything, doesn’t matter – the important thing is to decide by then.

Time pressure is an effective tool as it forces us to cut through those million useless thoughts and focus on that one thing that matters and take a call.

For example, for shopping grocery, I will set a time to complete the shopping in under 30 mins, and if I spend more than that, I’d have to cut on the other more important things.

#4. Develop certain principles that can help you navigate through options easily

For example, I have learnt it the hard way that I value quality more than cost. So I will avoid buying from a factory outlet even if it is cheaper. It is cheap for a reason. Another principle is to not buy without trying it or not to rush through purchasing decisions as that can work against you.

These are simple tips that I am sure, even you would have mastered through years of decision making.

It’s estimated that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day

http://science.unctv.org/content/reportersblog/choices

#5. Use a funnel approach

If you have a broad range, select the first category that comes to mind and then try using filters (just like the ones you have on apps) to narrow your search. This approach will allow you to look in the right direction and come to the outcomes faster – we all do this, but sometimes I think we get lost especially in a new environment when presented with a plethora of options which are designed to confuse you in the first place.

#6. Keep it clean and organised

Now that you know what you want, you have narrowed your options and have decided on the criteria; it’s time to be methodical while approaching the problem.

For example, when my husband and I, we were looking for a house on lease, I had created a small note of which locations, what apartments we’d be inspecting, what is the rental, what amenities are available and what the commute time to work would be. And not a mental note but an actual record on my organiser that we share to help understand the details of the developments made on the decision so far.

You don’t have to pressurise your short term memory into remembering all these details later, as you can always revisit the notes, and it also helps you to think clearly. Another similar tool that I use is mind-mapping and I do it the conventional way using a paper and a pen – making connections, understanding the distances, relationships, patterns much better. Try it out if you haven’t done this ever.

#7. Now this one is a classic – Listen to your gut

It’s what everyone’s told you so far, and it’s cliche, but the very fact that it is famous is because it works. And it works, because there is science to it – your subconscious figures out the finer intricacies of the matter that is sometimes invisible to the naked eye. Bizzare right, what your eyes can’t see, your brain can – like it has eyes of its own. It just does the math quickly to know where this would click or not.

1.Coffee
I love the caffeine addiction like million others because it literally wakes me up. So I normally take my morning cuppa coffee almost 2-3 hours after I have woken up, and trust me this period is the most dreaded part of my entire routine. I dread it because I feel as though I am a zombie that is just physiologically performing, but for all other reasons, I am quite dead. And seriously, I would hate it if someone were to schedule an important meeting that requires a lot of thought process.

However, if this same discussion is to happen after that caffeine shot, I am not just ready, I am in fifth gear baby – My thoughts are stimulated and I am ready to solve all problems. Bring it on – Let’s solve world hunger. Now that’s an exaggeration, but you get the drill – the ideas are flowing easily, I am excited about the meeting, asking all the right questions, connecting dots, absorbing the information, actioning my emails. I love it. Sadly this is the coffee speaking and not my coherent self – is that okay? I don’t know but I honestly don’t care either. Coffee is my poison and to hell with all those articles about ‘why coffee is bad for your health’.

What I mean?

Find what stimulates you on a daily basis and use it as your source of motivation – caffeine, sugar or even some wine

Why you should try it?

Everyone needs an instant boost for motivation.

You got to have some vices to be able to have some voices.

Said I

2. Travel
Now what I just described above doesn’t hold good if I am on a vacation mode, because suddenly I have found a new stimulant – the vibe of this new place I am in, the people I would be meeting, the things we would be doing, it’s all exciting in itself and it is stimulating enough to not require a coffee. I wouldn’t mind one but I shall be fine without one. Also, the brain is very aware of the new surroundings and absorbs a lot more information than in the normal course of the day. The newness of the travel triggers a lot of thoughts and ideas which are so different and unique – it just opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. But travelling is an expensive affair to get that dose of motivation. So, what is the other alternative? The idea lies in the reason itself.

What I mean?

Find one new thing in your day – take an unfamiliar route to commute, a new grocery shop, ditch Netflix for a book, try a different recipe to experiment, a phone call to an old friend, anything. The only thing you’ll have to be mindful of is not to overdo it. Keep it consistent – one new thing, each day.

Why you should try it?

Small changes, doesn’t take much effort but doing it consistently would make a big difference over a period of time.

3. Fear
I think this might hold good for everyone but the reason it features in my list is that I have a really low attention span. I can transcend into several different spaces at the same time while still listening to you in that very moment. A bewildering mind is more focussed on the environment that instigates fear than otherwise. What I want to say is the fear of the unknown, fear of uncertainty or fear of misjudgement all lead to a heightened awareness in that situation. For e.g., if you are giving a speech and you fear you will be judged for your opinions, your awareness levels hit the ceiling. Again fear is just one of the many emotions that acts as a powerful stimulant for activating those brain muscles – there is anger, trust, disgust that all stimulate thoughts. But fear is powerful because of the chemical reactions that take place in your body causing a fight or flight response. It is amazing how the brain could process these million thoughts in a few seconds and decide on what to do.

What I mean?

Find your real fears and I am not talking about the fear of enclosed spaces or reptiles and ghosts. I am talking about those bigger things that would keep you awake at night – unaccomplished goals, directionless career, failed relationships, mid-life crises, mental health issues and use them as motivation techniques.

Why you should try it?

Fear is a powerful stimulant if you use it the right way. The zeal to fix what is broken will help to steer life forward.

4. Workout
You might know that workout is an excellent stimulant because of the endorphins that it releases and that sets you up for the rest of the day; it charges you naturally and is an excellent way to be physically and mentally active. Now that isn’t anything new but what I want to mention is knowing the optimum level where this happens is important. To explain it better, I usually workout in the evening and I vary the intensity. If it has been a moderate routine I would be energetic enough to complete my daily chores faster and sleep better. However there is a catch, if I were to up a notch and do a hardcore workout, I would be flat out or my endorphins would touch the ceiling and keep me awake the whole night. So yes, the lesson is ‘do not overdo it’.

What I mean?

Simply put, workout in any format you like – sport, dance, gym, swim, walk, run or crawl – but move your body and do it consistently. Trust me that consistency is the most difficult part, so embed it in your daily chores.

Why you should try it?

It helps you physically and mentally. Physical fitness helps in better stamina and those endorphins, my, they are an addiction too. You’d understand if you have experienced it.

5. Intellectual conversations
Oh yes, it is such a rarity these days and especially in certain social circles. We have become so superficial and seldom talk about those real issues or be vulnerable enough to share our deepest worries and fears. Those long meaningful conversations with friends, the healthy debates on the economy or politics of your country (and I don’t mean the rant or poison we spew on social media), the life stories of how far we have come and where we want to go. These are the moments which are so rare these days that if you experience them, you should treasure them because they stimulate the thoughts that matter – not just on social media but in real life and also because they impact the circle of close friends and family.

What I mean?

Have real conversations instead of those superficial ice-breaker talks. Listen. Listen to what the other person has to say and respond with an open mind.

Why you should try it?

There is nothing else that would stimulate your thought better than this one. We as human beings are social animals and thrive on what people around us have to say, do, wear and these conversations give us plenty of insights into their world.

6. A powerful message
Be it a wonderful series such as ‘When They See Us‘ or ‘OJ Simpson vs The Public’ or an interview by Michelle Obama or a Ted Talk by someone who talks out of their experience and knowledge it stimulates a lot of thoughts. This is the work that is presented in 1 or 2 hours but it takes a lot of years hard work to create the art that inspires. So a powerful dose of someone’s life experiences is a great stimulant, especially when you can’t live each and every life – you see, you learn and you grow from what others have to teach you. On a lighter note, every-time I see something brilliant I would want to pursue that profession. Not just the fancy ones even something as bizarre as a busker or a boxing professional.

What I mean?

Make wise choices when it comes to the content you consume – Don’t fall for the clickbait content, instead select something more meaningful that you can draw inspiration from.

Why you should try it?

You probably do and so this one is a no-brainer why you should watch healthy inspirational content. Luckily we don’t have to find it in the documentaries or art films anymore, it has become more of mainstream commercial content these days.

7. Do nothing When I have a lot going on, doing nothing helps to compartmentalise those thoughts, to think clearly and stay focused. And I wouldn’t let social media or Netflix or calls or anything for that matter ruin that space and time – because as someone who loves to write this time is precious for me to think about what I want to convey in my writing.

What I mean?

I mean – spend at least 10 minutes in the day by doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am not sure if it is meditation, I am no expert in that field, but just start by staring the ceiling, what say?

Why you should try it?

Yes, when you do nothing sometimes you are doing a lot more. By giving yourself time to process everything that is happening around you you get rejuvenated. And I am not saying to fall asleep. I am saying to be conscious of your thoughts

It’s your day, your thoughts and your actions!

Now I do as I preach or rather preach only what I really believe in. So I took a day out of my weekend, which normally constitutes cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, Netflix and meeting friends. It bore me, this routine. I just don’t enjoy going in cycles day in and day out. I want to break free. Haha – seems like I am singing right now. Oh, yes! I am, Lyrics are the best source of inspiration. They sum up your thoughts and feelings in this lyrical composition that sticks so much better than any writer can ever connect with you. ‘I want to break free’. Anyway, so I stepped out and did what I always wanted to – write, read, listen, and just enjoy life my way. Here is what I did:

So Melbourne has this ‘Emerging writer’s festival’ every year around June wherein they have various events, conferences, workshops around story telling, writing professionally and publishing/editing – so I attended to one of these sessions and get some insights from some published writers. The topic was 5*5 rules of writing. Now I am no professional writer and don’t know if I want to take it up as a profession, however I want to hone some writing skills for my blogs and what better way than to learn it directly from some of finest published writers to kick-start my journey as a writer. I shall write a separate piece on all that I learnt from this session in another article. But in a nutshell that’s how I started my morning, with some inspiration!

“You don’t need to know everything in the beginning, you just need to start”

– Toni Jordan

After some food for thought it was time to fuel the belly, so I headed to this nearby cafe and can definitely vouch for their coffee. One thing I have learnt while choosing a cafe/restaurant is that choose a cafe with ratings of 4 and above for a satisfactory experience. You will cherish the food, service, and ambience of that place and shall set the ball rolling for the rest of your day. So that was the next 45 minutes of me time or rather tummy time.

Now , it was the time to find a place where I can peacefully write with no distractions and whilst I would have loved any outdoor setting – it was not possible in this cold dreary winter days when the temperature drops to a single digit. So I thought what better place than a library. 

So I come to this library, a masterpiece in architecture and find my hideout place. Meanwhile I was thinking, when you have access to such facilities, why not take full advantage of it? So, I got my setting that I had needed – a place full of books, young and bright minds, quiet environment (not that quiet actually with all the visitors, but still better than most public places) – now is the time to begin the work

I started with writing some of my unfinished articles, planned for the forthcoming weekends, thought through some bigger agendas and spent some time reading this book that I had picked up from my office library and had never opened it till then – remember my habit to procrastinate and how I am trying to break through that habit – will write a follow up on that as well in terms of how I have fared so far, some common pitfalls, techniques to overcome them, etc. Anyway, by now I had almost spent 5-6 hours on this. Trust me the focus that I had was unparalleled. I would never have been able to achieve so much in probably next 2-3 weekends because of all the distractions and inexplicable black holes of time.

Anyway now that I had done most of what I had set out to do, it was time to return home. Now I had not planned for this, but when I stepped out of the Library, I saw these bunch of Sudanese students protesting for democracy and I loved the energy they had, the cause for which they were protesting – close to my heart and the leader who gave the speech had a sense of confidence that gathered a large crowd that you can see in the below picture. It left me with a smile.

The rest of my away day was just usual, spent time with my husband watching something over dinner and discussing our day. But this to me was a perfect day – doing the only thing that matters the most to you.

You are constantly thinking of how to do things better, be it at work or in personal life. How could you have done that project differently if you were to do it all over again? How could you probably improve this recipe a little better the next time? How could you shop more productively? Does it sound familiar?

Read the below checklist and tick against the ones you think applies to you. 

1. You watch the ‘Brightside‘ videos more often than the music videos
2. You read articles on ‘Medium‘ over browsing on Instagram
3. You learn from everyone around you irrespective of their age, caste, sex, experience, education
4. You try to find positivity even in the darkest places.
5. You beat yourself to death if you do the same mistake twice.
6. You crave criticism like pregnant women crave chocolate and you find feedback as a blessing in disguise.
7. You constantly improvise, that’s the only way to get better at a skill right!
8. You practice what you preach. It’s a sin to say something that you wouldn’t do yourself.
9. You hate it when people use jazz that they are not even aware of.
10. You feel suffocated if you find yourself in an unproductive session or a directionless discussion.

Now if you answered ‘Yes’ at-least 7 out of 10 times, you are a self-development junkie. If you answered ‘Yes’ in over 5 instances but less than 7 you are not a junkie yet, you are content with your self and less worrisome with what others have think about you. If you got a score of less than 5, you enjoy life on your terms and you probably don’t care what the world around you does and probably are in self-denial. Not always but might apply to a few.

This was just a fun way of probably knowing oneself better, and the above indicators are by no means any signs of telling you to follow this or not. That is totally up to you and no one else can/should dictate those terms to you. If you are content with who you are, that’s probably the best for you and need not always look for improvement.

It’s no different in life you need to push your limit each time you want to give up on your dreams, each time you want to quit that job, each time you want to break free from routine, each time you want to break that relationship, you say, No, not today, today let’s push the limit a little harder. Nopes. No. Nah. Never!!! What? No, that’s not what you mean? What do you mean then?

If you thought this was some motivational piece, then it isn’t. You don’t find yourself progressing in your career and are stuck, quit that job. You don’t find the relationship as exciting as it used to be; you don’t have the mental bandwidth to deal with the tantrums of the better (rather worse) half, let yourself and the worse half free of the bondages. if you don’t enjoy your routine, change the course and find something you are passionate about – now that ain’t that easy and I know because I am trying since decades and haven’t fully ever understood it was writing although I have been writing ever since I was a kid and I never gave up on it and it’s for the next article, but you get the point. So what I am saying is, do not push your limits where it makes little sense to you. I am a big advocate for change and so I would be the first person to advise, explore something different and try something else especially when we have a dearth of options in this universe.

However, sometimes changing from one course to another rarely helps. Sticking to the path you chose a little longer than you’d initially want to would bring wonders to your life. If you are an entrepreneur or at least daydream of becoming one soon, don’t just try something and give it up because it didn’t work initially. If you are a writer and you published a few stories on your social media, got a few likes but didn’t create a stir, don’t give it up. If you are a cook and a few dishes didn’t turn out to be exactly how you’d expect, don’t give it up. If you are an activist and your initial few blogs/initiatives didn’t ignite the spark, don’t give up. You get the drill or should I keep continuing. Pushing the limits, heh! Anyway the point is just as in the workouts that extra step, that extra push, that extra minute is all that makes the difference, you need that ‘extra’ in your life to make the difference you are longing for. The difference to your muscles, the difference to your mind and the difference to the matters that matter.

The sense of accomplishing a little more than you could, the sense of being your best self, the sense of conquering the space that once felt impossible, is what makes mind over matter to conquer the muscle.

I was just wondering if we ever stop for a second to think about how our last week was, how you are doing in the current role or how your business is growing or not growing, what have you studied and what’s left to study, what we ate and didn’t eat, what stories are we consuming, how much screen time do we have in the day, how are we contributing to make this world better, are we giving back to the community?

Sometimes, it is important to unwind to perform better. We have all probably heard about the saying that sometimes you have to take one or two steps backward to pivot forward in the right direction.

So whilst we might agree that it makes sense – not most of us really do it. When have you taken some time off from whatever you have been doing to do just what you have wanted to and ALONE? Yes, that’s the key here – ALONE. Not with your spouse, not with your family or friends. Just spending time with yourself. Now you might think it’s difficult, but it isn’t – you just need to plan a day in a month or fortnight when you wanna go to some quiet place, take your arms and ammunition to amp up the fire inside you – your laptop, your diary, your headphones, your camera or your phone and some snacks and just go on a trip of self-discovery – Start in the morning and give yourself ample time to think through all of what I mentioned above and come back with a more productive self. Read, write, run, jump, exercise, click, eat do whatever you please but alone – so you have had the best company in the world you can ever get – Yourself.

Now some might say this ain’t me – ‘I can’t go alone’ or ‘I can’t eat alone’ or ‘I can’t be alone’ – sorry to break your myth, it’s just in your mind – you are always on your own, always. Period! We all have a family and friends and colleagues and social circles but we need to live our own lives and the way we want to, so it is essential we spend time with ourselves asking ourselves those big questions – ‘What we want to do’, ‘Where we want to go’, ‘How things have been so far’ and ‘If there is anything we can do to make it better.’ And if that doesn’t convince you, I just have one last question for you – If you can’t stay with yourself, how do you expect others to stay with you?

Another popular myth would be what do I do? Oh, my God! there is no dearth of things you can do and trust me it can be done, in any part of the world – go to a park, beach, temple, cafe, trek wherever you can break the monotony of your routine and somewhere you won’t be distracted

Now there are some do’s and don’ts for this to work

Do
Write your thoughts
Pen a poem
Shoot a movie
Read a book
Reduce screentime if possible
Reflect on things (office, work, business, school, people)
Be creative
Plan the entire day
Have a positive attitude
Wear comfy clothes

Don’ts
No calling anyone
No wasting time commuting a lot
No shopping
No indulgence
No sleeping
No procrastination
No cutting corners
No exploring (like a tourist)

If you work out or even if you don’t you might have heard about the concept of a recovery week when you need to rest a little to be able to perform better, this is exactly the same thing in life but yet we fail to do so and that includes me. I have said the same thing using different perspectives to stress the importance of doing it.

So don’t think, probably plan your next Sat or Sunday to take time off from your usual life, pack your bag with some essentials, choose a location (need not be just one location, can be multiple, just need to plan it better) where you can sit, relax, unwind, do some deep thinking and come back rejuvenated. Hope it helps.

You will have never have more of the finite resources than you do now

This is more of an extension of my previous article ‘The art of procrastination’. I have had two realizations ever since. 1) You need to steal time for things you love. 2) get away from your to-do list if you have been maintaining one.

You need to be creative with time

In this article, I will focus on the first aspect alone.  You will always have a lot of distractions in life. Ask a stay-at-home person and they would say that all of their time just gets lost in some black hole. You cook food, clean stuff, do the laundry, ready the kids, watch some television or check the social media accounts and the day is over.

However, if you are working full time you just suddenly make time for an 8-9 hour job, where did this time come from? It is simple, all the other activities just get squeezed into the routine somewhere. So that means for all working full-time professionals, we all have approximately 16-18 hours over the weekend for ourselves to pursue our passion and do what we like. Easy, right? Unfortunately, it’s not quite what happens. So what really happens? 

Well, broadly two things occupy your time entertainment and routine household stuff.

Normally the hangover from the entire work–week would occupy a huge mind space, and you ought to unwind a little. And when accessing content is super easy in today’s times, it is difficult to restrain ourselves from reaching that remote. And let’s be honest a little Netflix doesn’t hurt, eh? Let’s find out.

And what about all of those numerous mundane activities that you had pushed throughout the week? It suddenly finds its way through your to-do list and into your chores time. Buy groceries, return that pair of shoes that didn’t fit well, call the maintenance guy to fix that piece of shit that’s broken – you get the drill, don’t you? It’s just a never-ending cycle of things that demand your attention and if you don’t pay much focus your time just gets sucked up by the black hole which we define as procrastination.

But is it you were just being lazy, not picking up your passion over your routine, not prioritizing things or we just never realized the concept of being caught up in the whirlwind. Or we realized, and we never did something about it because hey, I have read all these motivational blogs and stuff but I can’t really deal with it right now and I am just living off one day at a time.

Now I truly believe a lot of us will fall in the latter not being aware of what we want or perhaps how we want to pursue that goal. And probably I don’t know it all either, but I try each day and I evolve and when I feel I have succeeded a little, I share. And I get it, it need not always be a side hustle or about starting your own business, it can be about playing that guitar or rather simple just read the book that you always wanted to or the backyard garden that you wanted to nourish or just bizarre things like contributing on your Google account or reviewing the restaurants you have been to. Anything really, anything that brings you joy.

So I will share two techniques that have worked for me.

1) Prioritizing passion over routine

Trust me you shall always have enough and more routine things in your to-do to focus on, but do you wish to waste time on troubleshooting those or do something more satisfying – your choice – if cleaning house gives you the satisfaction then that’s all right too. Whilst everyone loves a clean house, remember that everything comes at a cost and prioritizing that over your passion might cost you a lot – not in terms of money but in terms of emotions. Just close your eyes and imagine yourself on that deathbed – do you want a clean house or do you want to be reminiscing the memories of the great things you achieved. The choice is yours.
P.S – Also cleaning the house is a metaphor for all things routine, so don’t think I am against cleaning or something, I love doing it but I just realized that I love something else a little more. So I am okay with a few undone dishes and clothes, but not okay to let go of the weekend, and the weekend after the weekend not writing or publishing my blogs.

2) Steal every iota of time, every second counts

When I said earlier you got to steal time, what I meant was you literally have to find time in bizarre stuff – while taking a shower, your thoughts are running wild anyway, probably think of how you can optimize the day to get the most out of today. So you decide on taking a break from your workout routine; there it is your one hour. While in between meetings, if you get this great idea, write it down, discuss it with someone. See if you can finish your work earlier in the day and leave early that one day of the week every week. See if you can do something early morning, if you are a morning person. I am not, but if you are there are a lot of benefits in doing this. See if you find the time during the commute.  While the vegetable is cooking or when you are waiting for something. There is ample time, it just isn’t packed in a beautiful box and presented to you. You just need to ingrain these in your routine practices. And soon you will have ample time. Also, if you binge-watch Netflix, here is a small tip.

While you are watching your favorite show, just towards the last 10-12 minutes, try to context switch to think of what excites you more, what was pressing on your mind since morning, start doing it or if that’s not possible, start thinking about it or start researching on it – trust me, you will not want to continue the next episode even if it ends on a cliffhanger.

That is the power of true passion – you like doing certain things, but love your passion. Now, this comes with practice. You will not switch-off Netflix because I told you to or because you read this article. But you take one small step each day and practice it till you find out what works best for you.

And come on, you love your passion, don’t you? Because that is something unique to you and it defines your personality. And if you don’t really know what you are passionate about just start with something you like – photography, reading, dance, tweeting, singing, something niche perhaps – just start with that and keep doing it, trust me you will find what you are passionate about soon.

We never truly believe in ourselves, I mean there are some over confident assholes who do but I am talking about the other normal people like you and I. Most of us choose the comfortable option even when we know the risk-reward quotient of this other option is way higher than option 1 – have you ever wondered why do we do that? Because we don’t really believe in ourselves. We never fully believe we can do something spectacular, create something magnificent, make it big in our career, until we do.

We aren’t the best judge of ourselves, and so most often we underestimate our true potential and our beliefs. We constantly doubt the outcome of our choices and are too afraid of going the unknown path. And that leads us to the life of an average Joe going through the daily struggles of life just the way it is doing little to almost nothing to change this. 

Coming to my story, I doubted myself too. Should I pursue writing? Should I create my blog? What if no one reads it, what if people don’t find worth in it? What about those millions of books and literature that is already published? Should I check what is already out there? Like there were a billion thoughts and I call these a billion noise that I had to shut down. I just said to myself, I want to write because I WANT TO. There, just right there I had my answer in those three words – ‘I want to’. I want to write because that gives me satisfaction. I want to write because that is my avenue to reach out to you. I want to write because I get to explore my creativity. It was simple.

When you find this purpose, you easily overcome those earlier doubts – so what if there are a million books already written – that would still not solve my purpose, what if no one finds merit in what I write, but guess what I will never know unless I put them out there and let people decide

You see what I mean? Do something because that is what you love to do. And when you do that, you would believe in yourself. Because trust me, you are limited only by your own thoughts. Spread those wings and soar high, the world is your territory or your canvas if you are a painter or your notepad if you are interested in writing like I do.  

Oh my god, that’s such a big lie that anyone would ever tell you. I mean who are these super-productive people who have these perfect days each day every single day. I want to know these people.

In my life of 30 years I haven’t met one so far; so I am doubtful if I would ever find this perfect person who gets up early morning, reads the newspaper, does their workout, reaches the workplace on time, gets everything done, returns home on time, cooks a good dinner, indulges in some light reading, meditates, does their nightly routine and goes off to sleep and don’t forget — they have a good night’s sleep as well without a sweat.

If you tell me that people have this well-oiled machine, I would like to meet them. I strive for this perfect day and it just doesn’t seem to happen. I am sure there are a few people who follow a good routine that includes a lot of what I mentioned above and can consistently do that too but if you’d tell me that these people are happy with their outcomes I shall have my doubts. 

Seven out of ten adults in the United States say they experience stress or anxiety daily and can’t sleep peacefully. Now, do I need to say more? I do! What I want to say is that a perfect day is a myth. No one has this amazing morning routine, equally amazing day at work and an amazing evening too. That’s the law of the universe. You can’t have it all.

I constantly juggle work and personal priorities. I forget to bring groceries on time; I drag myself out of bed in the morning (I am just not a morning person no matter how hard I try) I just never seem to complete everything I need to – the backlog never seems to end. So you end up feeling sluggish, tired, and disappointed. But if you look at the glass half full – then you’d tell me you had a great day – you took those tiny steps to move forward, you probably met a few people, you learned something from them, you probably had a new idea and that got you excited and that made your life a tad bit simpler. And I would call it a perfect day. It is not about meeting the standards set by someone else, but it is about ‘setting your own standards’ and ‘living by them each day’. 

So the message is simple – Don’t run behind having a perfect day, get meaning out of each day, add value to the work you do, derive satisfaction from that me-time you get and that’s what a perfect day is.