The fantasy football season is in full swing. If your team is trending upwards right now, you can probably start thinking of suitable Sacko punishments to shame your league’s loser with. For the 0-7 owners already dreading what horrible, humiliating experience the end of this fantasy season may have in store for you may still have time to turn it around. I saved the most vile for #22 — absolutely painfully, funny!
Get your creative juices flowing with these inventive and epic fantasy humiliations.
A bet’s a bet.
This 14-man league forces their loser to dress up as lion while the other 13 guys hunt him with paintball guns.
via Physics of Paintball Guns | Paintball Guns Equipment
For big fans of FXX’s The League
via Etsy / YoureNotGoodAtThings
The infamous tattoo league.
via Daily Dot
via Dawg’s Blog
A little public shaming never hurt no one.
Sucks to suck.
via Dump A Day
This loser had to draft from the porcelain throne, but only after each player had taken a post-Taco Bell dump. #BrownstotheSuperBowl
Why make your loser fetch beer when you can throw a gallon of pasta sauce at him?
via The Chive
A personal favorite.
A fitting punishment for the fantasy irrelevant.
via Fantasy Bros
Easily the greatest fantasy football punishment of all time.
via Instagram / @allstern
2014! Odds he drafted Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson in the same year?
via ABC 30 / Michael King
Here’s a steady dose of 9-5 cubicle shaming.
via The Chive
Tomato Hell League!
The Brooklyn, NY DJ and Pasta League is a nine-year-old league that tosses tomatoes at its losers. As “Raffa the Gaffa” explains, “Every year before the draft the last-place team will stand for one minute and all the league members launch tomatoes at them.” Over 200 pounds of tomatoes are thrown at the loser. They even “Microwave the tomatoes so they soften up a little, bringing the grime level to a 10.” Gross!
Male Leg Waxing and Other Horrible Tortures!
In one league, have weekly head-to-head bets where the loser has to do some awful things, including getting a leg wax and sitting in the back of a pickup truck as it goes through a car wash wearing only a Speedo, a swim cap, and goggles. But my favorite punishment of theirs involves putting on a helmet and Rollerblades and standing on a corner with a sign reading “I Suck at Fantasy Football.” These friends are awful to each other, I love it!
The BIG League in Bigfork, Montana, spreads around the pain. Everyone who didn’t win the league loses. “Whoever finished in second place gets to choose from the list of punishments, then third place, and so on, until the last-place member is struck with the worst punishment. These included getting slapped on the inner thigh four times, eating worms, eating a small jar of mayonnaise, and finally, standing about 15 yards away from the rest of the league wearing nothing but your underwear and a mask while each owner gets one shot at you with a paintball gun. Needless to say, these punishments cause much bruising, scarring, and vomiting … as well as plenty of laughter.” These folks know how to spread around the punishment!
Balls In the Basement.
There isn’t a couth way to explain this one, so I’ll just go for it: balls. Yes, Balls.
The Crotch Buffet Fantasy Football League gives out the Balls in the Basement Award to its last-place owner in Chicago. The “winner” has to “proudly” display it in his/her house and change all of their social media pictures to include both his face and the trophy. The trophy features a removable set of realistic-looking balls. When a loser leaves the house, he must remove them from the trophy and carry them with him. If a fellow league member calls him out and he doesn’t have the balls on him, he loses one draft spot in the next draft for each infraction. Ouch!
My Team Sucks T-Shirt.
No punishment is as nasty and stinky as the one for the Beer Boy League, based in Charlotte, North Carolina. This league has been around for 19 years, and since 2002, the last-place team has had to sign this dirty old shirt, retire its team name forever, and then wear the shirt during the draft. While serving everyone drinks. Easy idea for a gross way to never forget your failures.
Loser License Plates.
The Fantasy Jocks league makes their losers BUY and INSTALL on their car their own Loser license plates. Love this idea for a year of pain!
Fantasy Football Loser T-Shirt.
The Jared Allen League of Oregon, MO makes their loser wear this Fantasy Football Loser t-shirt. Because humiliating them privately, just isn’t enough.
The Rabbit Race.
My favorite I could find is The Milton’s League. They have The Rabbit Race.
The loser of the league dresses in a carrot costume. The worst score of the 1st round of the playoffs dresses in a rabbit costume. The remainder of the league is in normal clothes. The whole group starts drinking at a house near the bars. The carrot leaves and must drink at least 1 drink at a specific list of bars. 15 min later the rabbit leaves and chases the carrot, while maintaining the 1 drink minimum. Finally 15 min after the rabbit, the remaining group chases the rabbit.
Technically if the rabbit catches the carrot, the carrot buys drinks and if the group catches the rabbit, the rabbit buys. These rules are never enforced due to intoxication. The patrons at the bar love it. First a lone carrot runs in, chugs a drink and runs out. Followed by a rabbit, then a bunch of drunk guys.
The Slap League.
The Painfully Funny ‘Slap League’ where they do a slap bet for the loser. Whoever comes in last place gets slapped by the winner of the consolation bracket and buys champagne to serve the rest of the league members in advance of the draft. The slap serves as the opening bell for the draft. So basically this year the loser buys and serves champagne to everyone, gets slapped in the face, and the clock immediately starts on pick number 1.