Funny

The Funniest Newspaper Headlines ever written!

Alton attorney accidentally sues himself.
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It doesn’t get much better than this.  Dare I say, true justice?  Or, what goes around, comes around?  You wouldn’t see Ben Matlock making this same blunder. Some of these are totally ridiculous, but hilarious none-the-less.


I believe he has been caught playing with a lot more recently-on multiple occasions. Hating on Tiger Woods is just too easy!
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That is one of our favorite headlines we have seen in a while. Makes you wonder who is doing the editing for these newspapers nowadays. It really doesn’t get much better than this.

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Our fine government at its best. If wasting money were a job, our elected officials would certainly excel at it. Spending a quarter million dollars to advertise ones poverty just doesn’t make any sense to me, but then again, it is our government.

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I believe the Wright brothers were nearly two hundred years off on this. I think these volunteers will be searching forever to find planes from the American Civil War. I don’t think a real historian had any influence or editing review when this article came around.

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I think they mean Brad Pitt ate Angelina Jolie, not was impregnated by him. Or, it could be one of those celebrity-without-makeup pictures, it is really hard to tell. One thing is for sure-that was funny. There isn’t any ‘pit’ in that man’s stomach, unless they are referring to his appetite.

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Camouflage in the 21st century has gotten so good, it is truly amazing. You know your paint and design crew is doing a really good job when you immediately lose sight of your vehicle after painting it. Poor Oz taxpayers are getting the shaft for sure here!

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Here is another great example of our government just embarrassing us after we elect them. How ridiculous can one be? I hope the meeting is a meeting to discuss resigning and letting someone competent take over. That would be the only acceptable outcome here.

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Those loco peeps at DOE who do the NEPA’s EIS on BNFL’s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests. ROTFLMA why wasn’t the EPA notified? Written by a new young adult well versed in text-speak I’m sure.

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“This is an artist’s conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights.” I am pretty sure a pitch black painting didn’t take that artist too long to get going. How do articles like this even get approved? I just don’t understand.

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My favorite quote here is, “We had no idea anyone was buried there.” You sir or madam should be fired. What did you expect that you might find there? Toothbrushes? Arcade games? Perhaps, old shoes? I bet they also moonlight as a government official with that much intelligence. Finding caskets at a mausoleum, is just unheard of!? Stay in school, kids!

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“I wouldn’t do it again” says the hero, “she’s been a pain this week.” What a truly nice brotherly thing to do; I love that. I remember my siblings driving me crazy (they still do periodically) but I am sure that family will laugh about that quote for decades to come. Many holiday laughs will be had from that one for years to come!

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I’m pretty sure that some of those aren’t optional if I remember anything from Sunday School. I never quite learned everything, but I do know they are all pretty important.

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Admit it, you kind of do not want adults that need to be reminded not to take poison to have children, right? Or, am I the only one? Also, whomever has referred to medicine as ‘candy?’ Some of this is just basic common sense. But, then again- we wouldn’t be writing about it, if it weren’t so funny.

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Please, if you have seen this man… Oh ok, I just saw four that looked just like him riding by on snowmobiles.

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I expect a lot of things, but for federal officers to raid a gun shop and find weapons is just too hard to comprehend. Donuts perhaps, but certainly not weapons of any kind. What are the odds?! What will they come up with next?

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With a name like Stetson, a 17-caliber Marlin rifle almost seems age appropriate for a 19 month old. Perhaps, his folks can hold onto it for a while until he can walk around the Tri-County Moose Service Center. I wonder if he opened up his piggy bank to pay for his raffle ticket? Anyone outside of the rural areas are probably going bonkers over this one!

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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.” Mark Twain popularized that quote, and I believe he may have been referring to that headline! It certainly seems appropriate now.

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Mistress of the (entire) universe sounds like more work than I could possibly handle. I know I was tired after my two week honeymoon; she is just going to be exhausted! Also, I am wondering how it works in space? What do you think?

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Local dog look-alike contest, hmnnn I think we have a perfect match here. What kind of dog is that anyway? I can kind of see a basset hound resemblance, but I am not quite certain.

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I can’t tell if they are just being mean here, or it is some kind of cruel joke?! I truly want to know who thinks this stuff up. Have you seen any other cool Letterman headlines?

Folks, honestly you cannot make this stuff up!  Whoever thought this one up was simply, awesome!

Folks, honestly you cannot make this stuff up! Whoever thought this one up was simply, awesome!


Mississippi's literacy program shows improvement.  The fact that they can't spell Mississippi and this about a literacy program makes for some funny 'bizness'.

Mississippi’s literacy program shows improvement. The fact that they can’t spell Mississippi and this is about a literacy program makes for some funny ‘bizness.’


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