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Know these laws before you get drunk!

We all know that a nice cold beer is the perfect way to soak up the sights in a new location. Can you think of anything better to do with friends on vacation?  What happens when you don’t know the laws of the land, and end up getting thrown in the slammer because of some archaic drinking rules still on the books? Knowing these laws will help you out the next time you are out partying.  Typically, I would argue that laws are good for society, but some of these will make you really wonder.

Utah keeps it secret.  Shhh…

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Bartenders can’t make your cocktail or pour your beer in your eye line, so they require a little barriers set up to hide what they are doing behind the screen, called a Zion’s curtain. Why is everyone so worried about what other people are doing?  It would have been really hard to learn how to make your own drinks at home before the internet came along.  Funny rules.  They also have outlawed selling booze during a state emergency, assuming the governor decrees it.  Until 2009, bars in the state were forced to operate as a private club that charged a membership fee to drink.

via reddit / [deleted]

There will be NO horseplay in Colorado

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If you’re going to drink in Colorado, don’t ride your horse home.  Bizarre but Driving Under the Influence arrests are made all the time on horseback.  They can’t be trusted, even when sober.  We know you heard the story of a visibly intoxicated to man in Colorado trying to ride to his brother’s wedding 600 miles away in Utah. The Colorado police arrested him on drunk driving, animal cruelty, prohibited use of weapons, and reckless endangerment. (They also found a pistol in his saddlebag and a dog stuffed in his backpack.)  Unbelievable!

via tumblr / la-malinconia

What happens in Vegas

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Everyone has those stories from Las Vegas you do not want anyone to know about.  Nevada was smart enough to realize there’s no point in trying to police everyone, so they made public intoxication perfectly legal. So if you need me, I’ll be moving to the desert.  You know you have all done it.

via tumblr / pretty-suspicious

No embarrassing dancing in Washingon!

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Wow! In Lynden, WA, drinking AND dancing may not occur in the same establishment which probably makes it a pretty square town. I can’t imagine a night out with friend drinking and not embarrassing myself on the dance floor at some point.

Missouri’s war on drugs is ridiculous!

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You can’t add any drugs to your drink in Missouri which just seems so specific for a single state to adopt, but all the others were like, ‘Mehh. We shouldn’t have to tell people.’  I’m sure that doesn’t stop some people though.

via tumblr / lifesafjoke | makeagif.com

Michigan doesn’t cut corners

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Zen dog.  If you advertise a Pint, you have to serve all 16 ounces. Finally, a law aimed to help us beer drinkers out.  Shorting has been an issue since the world’s first bar.

via tumblr / f***thesememories

No touching in Nebraska or PDA

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A bar’s owner or employees cannot make contact with customers at any time in Nebraska.  Where do they come up with these rules? Customers are free to touch other customers all they want (note: do not touch someone all you want, especially in public).  I had never heard of this one; kind of odd.  You also must have a pot of soup cooking if you are going to serve alcohol in your restaurant or bar!  Crazy!

via reddit / SoWhatComesNext

Pennsylvania vending machines have wine

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All you do is show your I.D. and do a quick breathalyzer test, and you’re good to go. What a time to be alive!  Great concept, but I believe there are a ton of work-a-rounds here.

via Giphy

 Louisiana is a glass-less state

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They’re cool with you drinking out in public and all that jazz, but draw the line at glass cups, because if (and let’s be real, when) they break, it’s a safety hazard.  I would like to see this throughout all 50 states.  They also are one of the few states that allow underage kids to drink at home accompanied by their parent.

Oklahoma likes it hot

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If a beer is over 4%, it cannot be sold from a refrigerated cooler. Night’s out at the bar must be a real treat in July… or any time, for that matter.  Anyone suffered through a mosquito filled evening in Oklahoma with a hot beer?  They also do not allow bar owners to have anyone inside their establishments pretend to have sex with a buffalo?!

via tumblr / bythetracks

Ohio doesn’t know how to celebrate

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You can’t sell alcohol to anyone for their birthday, Christmas, anniversary, or any other celebrations. I blame their sports teams for ruining all their sense of joy.  They just want their drunks to be unhappy and in a non-celebratory mood.  Makes sense, right?

via tumblr / pathofbrews

North Dakota extreme-couponers, beware

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You can’t use manufactures coupons to save on booze in North Dakota. That’s like buying every beer one at a time instead of just getting a 2-4.  Thou shall pay full price for your suds.

via tumblr / annaraeniik

Florida supports the troops

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Military heroes, you are going to love this one.  If you’ve served the country, you can import up to a gallon of booze into Florida, while your everyday citizen cannot. If that’s not a great marketing campaign, I don’t know what is.  Florida supports our troops with no taxes!  They also only allow alcohol to be packaged in containers of 32 oz or less, or 1 gallon or more, so no ’40’ for you folks!

via tumblr / pabstblueribbon

Iowa runs from the tab

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You can’t run a tab in Iowa, so don’t bother laying down your roommates credit card and having the best night of your life.  Credit card roulette would be a lot more fun there; more opportunities to play once per round!

via Meme Generator

Tennessee Two Step

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You can’t buy mixers in the same place as you buy alcohol. This probably helps cut down on drunk driving, because after all that time in the car jumping from store to store, you won’t be going out again.  These more ‘inconvenience’ laws are kind of ridiculous.  Do they really solve anything?

Dry days in Kentucky

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Good luck getting a drink in Kentucky on Sunday, as well as during the day of any election while the polls are open. On the plus side, when the polls close, determining the blue and red states sounds like a great drinking game to me!  Most states had the same rules until the last few decades.

via flickr / King of the Doctors

Kids can drink in Alaska

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As long as it’s served by their parents, and not in a licensed bar or restaurant. So basically, kids can drink in their house where no one would know they were drinking anyway. Gotta stay warm somehow.  Watching all the recent reality tv shows about Alaska, it starts to make sense now, doesn’t it?  There is also a law forbidding Alaskans to get a moose drunk, but as large as they are I’m sure it is too expensive to do so anyway.

via tumblr / jennadaily

Missouri’s no bear with beer law

In Missouri it is illegal to drive in a car with a bear that is uncaged.

In Missouri it is illegal to drive in a car with a bear that is not in a cage.  I guess at some point maybe a bear got out in a car and caused some grief?  Odd, but funny nonetheless.

 

Watch what you throw away kids!

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In Missouri, if you are under 21 years old and take out the household trash and there is even a single empty alcohol beverage container, you can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol.  I understand the intent there, but wow, just wow!  There is some debate about this law, and if it is truly on the books anywhere in the state.  It could be a variation of a law in the books but who has the time to do the research?

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No curbside drinking in St. Louis!

In St. Louis, Missouri it is illegal to sit on the curb with a bucket of beer (or any container) so leave it at home folks!  Silly, but true.

Chivalry is dead in Nevada

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In Nevada, it is illegal to buy drinks for more than three people at a time.  How do you court a table full of girls then?  Better cancel any craziness you had planned if you are partying in Las Vegas.

Beer and Pretzels is a NO NO in North Dakota

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In North Dakota, both beer and pretzels is a huge no-no.  They can’t be served at the same time an any bar or restaurant in the state.  Hope you aren’t hungry the next time you stop in at a German restaurant!

No drunk fish in Ohio

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For crazy fraternity kids in the entire state of Ohio, it is illegal to get any type of fish drunk.  You certainly don’t want a goldfish running around with a martini sword, now do you?  In the ‘hands’ of a fish they are just too dangerous!  I wonder if they can have a worm in their tequila?  They also have outlawed using Santa Claus in any booze ads, which certainly makes sense.

Drunks get the run-around in Tennessee!

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Tennessee is just odd, this state wants to make procuring your cocktail ingredients as difficult as possible. Here, you can’t buy any sort of mixers in the same location where any liquor is sold.  If you’re planning a trip to this Southern state any time soon, get used to the idea of making multiple stops in the quest to get your drink on.

Alabama conservatism even for art!

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In Alabama your wine bottle art had better not be ‘too sexy.’  Way back in 2009, there was a gravity-defining nude bicyclist take from a poster deemed to hot for sale in the state.  Since the Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board has the power to prohibit labels, they did so…and sales went through the roof.  Thanks for the free marketing A.A.B.C.B.!

Crazy Kansas winos!

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Don’t even think of serving wine in a teacup in Topeka, Kansas, or trying to sell any alcohol between the hours of 11 PM to 9 AM.

It is illegal to sell alcohol beverages within 5 feet of a cash register in all California stores that sells both alcohol and motor fuel. Also, in 1990, Empire, CA banned a traditional version of the famous book “Little Red Riding Hood” because there was a bottle of wine in the basket Little Red Riding Hood was taking to her sick grandmother, and the local school board thought it would encourage underage drinking! Ha!

It is illegal to sell alcohol beverages within 5 feet of a cash register in all California stores that sells both alcohol and motor fuel. Also, in 1990, Empire, CA banned a traditional version of the famous book “Little Red Riding Hood” because there was a bottle of wine in the basket Little Red Riding Hood was taking to her sick grandmother, and the local school board thought it would encourage underage drinking! Ha!

This has nothing to do with wine or alcohol, but was so ridiculous that I can’t help but post it (I pray it’s true!!!); Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter into a game of BINGO.

This has nothing to do with wine or alcohol, but was so ridiculous that I can’t help but post it (I pray it’s true!!!); Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter into a game of BINGO.

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Wyoming Drinking Laws – No Mines or Skiing!

If you are drunk in a mine, you face up to one year incarceration in prison. It is also illegal for a woman to stand within 5 feet of a bar while drinking. Finally, skiing while intoxicated is illegal. The second one I’m not so sure about!

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Wisconsin Drinking Laws – It pays to marry a cougar!

An underage individual who is married to someone 21 years or older may consume alcoholic beverages with them legally.

This Is The End…

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We are not a health professional conglomerate, nor do we pretend to be. You should please consult your doctors before altering your alcohol consumption habits. In the United States of America, do not consume alcohol if you are under the age of 21! Do not drink and drive. Enjoy responsibly and in moderation!

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